The comedy of a Sunday afternoon walk

All photos taken on a walk around the neighborhood



We have two options here:
1) This is Coffee House Brain, which is a horrible name and does nothing to suggest relaxing times sipping coffee, but rather brings to mind large gray slimy organs of cognitive import.

2) The random capitalization is not random and this is in face Coffee House Bra In. Which I guess is only slightly better in that it brings to mind breasts, but still not the relaxing coffee-sipping scene that we are hoping for.

The Japanese sign takes the guessing out of the equation and informs us it is choice one. Which makes us only wonder why the hell it was written out BRAin.

And wonder is all we can do as we move on to sample two:



This is why the placement of punctuation. matters



This sign means reads: Osama no Kakurega which means "Where Osama hides".

But before the CIA leaps into action it should be noted that Osama means king in Japanese (and technically it is a drawn out O sound like you are saying it twice as long).

It would still be amusing to see a swat team act on this bit of intelligence.

Luminarie

Pictures from the Luminarie festival in Kobe:

This is a festival of lights that takes place every year around Christmas (not to be confused with Hanukkah - the other festival of lights that takes place every year around Christmas).

Where as one celebrates the retaking of the temple in Jerusalem and some really long-burning oil, this was started after the Hanshin Earthquake as a way to perk up the city after the tragedy. Because nothing makes you forget about your lack of housing and water like some Italian made bulb-festooned woodworking.

However, that isn't to say that the whole thing isn't insanely beautiful - like something from a picture book.

For about 10 days, the lights are put up in an area around City Hall. The two main parts are the 'tunnel' which leads to the main venue, and the 'carousel' which sits in the center of the park by the city hall (I have no idea what these two parts are actually called).

This is the tunnel:



as you can see it is a series of gates placed over a street and stationed about 20 - 30 feet apart.



And this is what awaits at the end of the tunnel. I would say it was the light at the end of the tunnel but that would just be lazy writing. So I will allude to it instead as I just did.

moving on

There are two ways to get there:

1) The proper way - As this is all just placed in the middle of downtown there is a giant hour-and-a-half queue starting at the train station, zig-zagging around a number of blocks and leading through the tunnel of lights to the circle of lights.

This is all well and good except that a) The whole line up has the charm of a forced death march with constant whistle blowing and police on bullhorns shouting (politely) about moving forward and waiting at lights and not jumping the line. They even form a blinky-baton human wall that stretches across the street at intersections. and b) it is winter at night and very cold.

All this is to control the throngs:



And if all that doesn't sound like fun you can always get off one station earlier, walk underground for 10 minutes and pop up right in the middle of the event.

But either was is fine.

As this is a festival, there are lots of 夜店 (Yomise pron: Yo-me-say) which are food stalls selling a variety of portable dishes like Yakitori (grilled chicken on a stick), Kara-age (deep-fried chicken chunks) Kobe steak on a stick, fish-shaped cakes called Kasutera, hotdogs on sticks, Takoyaki (chunks of octopus in small balls of dough topped with mayonaise, sweet sauce, and dried bonito flakes - way better than it sounds). These little stalls wind all over the park around the lighting display giving the whole affair a very "welcome to Asia" feeling.



Kobe Steak!



Yakitori!



Humiliation!

Here are some more shots of the whole event:


In the center of the "carousel"




Panorama of the interior







Furu Pote: How do we not have these in America - It is French fries in a paper bag. You pour a powdered flavor on top and shake the bag to mix the flavor in. Here are the flavors presented at this stand (from left to right)
Barbecue
Soy Sauce and Mayonaise
Nori and salt
Aforementioned Takoyaki
Curry
Salt (ok - I think this one doesn't count)
Kimchi

Other flavors I have seen around Japan are: Mustard/Mayo, Black Pepper, Spicy Chili, Patte.

Hanabi!

Hanbi (花火) is Japanese for fireworks. Literally it is flower-fire. Nice!

Summer is the season for fireworks displays in Japan and each city of reasonable size puts on a display. In the months leading up to these events, you can pick up newspapers dedicated to the upcoming pyro-gasm which provide locations, dates, number of rockets to be launched, and recommendations for dining (It's like the fantasy football guide to explosions).

The biggest around here is actually run by a quasi-religious group which launches about 100,000 shots meaning they start the show at 10AM before anything can be seen, but certainly heard (I guess God knows it's happening?) To me this is like getting all the fat from a hamburger without any of that annoying flavor or enjoyment.

The biggest non-deity related display is in Osaka and is called the Yodogawa Daikai.

I have the good fortune of knowing a couple who lives on the 10th floor of a building situated right in front of the spot on the Yodo river from which the shots are fired.

My completely inadequate linguistic skills would do a massive disservice to the glory of the event so in lieu I have uploaded a movie from the event.

Enjoy




This was from the middle - the whole event lasted about an hour.

Here is what I call 'suckers' streaming from the event like ants from a garden-hose induced tsunami (I am so sorry to the ants of my youth).

Who wants free alcohol with no id check?

How to get the ever-loving crap sued out of you in the states:

serve free alcohol to a group of passersby with no license or id check like this smiling temptress of the liquid mind-hammer.



By the way - civilization did not come to a horrific and immediate end following this encounter. But the afternoon was more enjoyable!

Fun with the language

The word for cavity in Japanese is "mushiba" 虫歯

the characters translate to "bug teeth"

much more frightening than a fancy-pants word for 'hole'.

How Japan works: part 1 - Healthcare

As most of my readers are US-based and are about to have their health care reform repealed faster than two-day old curry following a tequila shot contest, I thought I would explain how health care works in the People's Republic of Japan.

Each month the modest sum of about 3% of my paycheck is withdrawn for my national health insurance. This rate is adjusted to income levels so if you regularly bathe in a golden tub, you are probably paying more. As a lowly English teacher, it works out to about $100 a month (although given that the dollar is as strong as my average poker hand, it's more like $130).

In exchange for this contribution, the government picks up 70% of the medical bills I rack up. This includes dental. Some of the bills I have faced include:

molar filling: $14
benign tumor removal from leg: $150
two wisdom teeth removed plus medicine: $58
doctor consultation: $4
regular teeth cleaning: $11

These prices all strike me as profoundly reasonable.

And for those of you now thinking 'Yes, but didn't you face Soviet-breadline-style waits in dark and dank bunkers of depressive socialism?' I would point to the fact that the last hospital I visited had automated check-in and a player piano plucking out Elton John tunes in the lobby and my average dental appointment wait time has been negative 5 minutes. (that is, if I am early, they are ready to point blue lasers at my cavities and fill them with space-age polymers).

And while my initial consultation involved a rather lengthy wait, when was the last time your scheduled doctors appointment occurred withing an hour of you walking through the door?

That's right! despite what Glen Beck's weepy chalkboard-directed diatribes may indicate, a national health care system does not necessarily require you to address your physician as 'comrade' and submit to dentistry-by-hammer (or hammer and sickle).

Not that all is perfect here of course. One friend had knee surgery and was told to endure without sufficient pain killers. And another doctor who looked like he had enjoyed his (and my) share of bourbon over the astronomical number of years he had been stuffing his maw with rice balls, insisted on jabbing a needle into a lump he was positive was filled with liquid (it was not) despite my assurances that it was in fact solid (it was).

However, I have the choice (yes, that's right, I can choose where to get my medical treatment since hospitals and clinics are largely private - they are simply reimbursed by the government) to avoid certain facilities and spend my yen at the hospital with the robot-piano and HAL-tastic check in procedures.

The key to happy treatment seems to be youth.

The older doctors have a bedside manner that would make Hannibal Lecter blush and the unwavering insistence in their convictions reminiscent of a typical American Idol audition contestant. However, the younger doctors are much better and willing to talk to you, listen to your input, and explain the procedure (as well as use as much anesthetic as you need).

Getting better every year!

Too Long

I could explain how I have been busier than a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest, but that wouldn't excuse my extreme delinquency in updating the blog. And I could further promise future diligence in updating but hollow promises are about as attractive as sun-baked kimchi-stuffed rats.

So let's just get back to business and dispense with the bullshit